Why do cliques form

Groups of friends can develop into cliques over time. If you notice that your friends are being mean to people outside of your group, speak up. Even little mean comments can cause a lot of hurt. The bottom line is that you should surround yourself with people who are genuinely nice to you and to others. Remember, you are important, regardless of whether a certain person or group approves of you!

It takes courage to be the bigger person. There is only one you, so always take the high road. Please log in again. The login page will open in a new tab. After logging in you can close it and return to this page. Automated page speed optimizations for fast site performance. Share 0. Tweet 0. Mean Girls. Pitch Perfect. Emily in Paris. Table Of Contents. How to identify a clique. Why are cliques formed? How to deal with cliques.

How to identify a clique We develop friendships with people whom we share things in common. She might not be a good "follower" — especially if she can be popular enough on her own. Sometimes her friends may even be invited to join when she isn't. Clique members may deliberately exclude her in an attempt to take away her perceived power or the threat they think she could pose. Cliques aren't just for girls. Guys form cliques, too — usually around a sport, computer game, or type of clothing or music.

They can be just as mean as girls about the outcasts of the social group. It's not all roses inside a clique either.

A person's standing within the group can always be under threat. Most of the followers cling to the leader not out of true friendship but because they want to keep their position in the group. But even the leader can lose her power. In fact, the queen bee in a strong girl clique probably worries as much — or even more — about being popular and accepted as the outsiders do.

Because no one feels secure, clique members often use the tools of flattery, humiliation, or rumors to manipulate situations and preserve their status. A few girls manage to stay friends with people both inside and outside the clique. But that can be hard to do because there's often intense pressure from the group to be friends only with people on the approved list. It takes a lot of self-confidence to dare to be friends with someone outside the clique.

Sometimes clique members decide they want out. They don't like being limited by the rules, and they don't like leaving others out and hurting people's feelings. As people get older, they may not feel like being part of a clique anymore.

Usually toward the end of high school, kids are more relaxed about who is "in" and who's not. But earlier on in your school life it can take a lot of courage to leave a clique or decide to remain on the outside.

Beware of online groups and cliques using social network sites. These have become popular sites to put others down, invite only selected friends to a party, and make mean comments or posts. People can even build fake profiles. Only post profile information and photos that you want everyone to see. Keep your messages to other people online private. Whether you're on the inside or the outside, cliques can make your life tough. But there are ways to cope:.

Friendships change. And as everyone struggles to find their place, cliques and bullying become more prominent. Consequently, identifying the differences between a close-knit group of friends and a clique is essential.

Here are some important differences between the two. Friendships naturally form around things that people have in common.

Likewise, groups can form around band, drama club, even liking the same music or movies. Kids often feel supported and welcomed because of their similar interests.

For instance, a high school girl might hang out with the volleyball team one day and the yearbook staff another day. Even within a group, kids may have one or two friends that they feel closer to. People also move in and out of groups as they develop new interests, make friends or just realize that they have less in common than they used to.

As time passes, some groups of friends will become closer while others drift apart. Do not automatically assume that all groups of friends are cliques. But in a healthy friendship , this is never done intentionally. Usually invites to parties and other outside activities are dictated by space limitations.

Groups of friends also tend to be supportive of one another. Additionally, what makes these friendships just a group and not a clique is the level of control within the group. People are free to be themselves within a group of friends. There is no one dictating what they should wear or who they can hang out with. They also are welcoming when they meet others who have some of the same interests.

Remember, friends can display unkind behavior at times, but this does not mean they are bullies. It is important to recognize the difference between toxic people and fake friends and those that are just having a bad day.

What does that look like in terms of employee productivity? They may begin to show disinterest and indifference in their work and the company. They want to be defined by greatness and success, and not associated with those grumpy underachievers. It becomes an issue for them: Do they stay in the group and risk being ostracized? Do they find another group? And will that group be a good fit? Or do they go it alone? When they see groups of people breaking off for lunch, work collaboration or seemingly secret meetings, they wonder how they become a part of it all.

You might see groups of people sequester themselves from others. Middle managers or even upper management can create force fields around themselves, cutting them off from the rest of the company, leading to feelings of uncertainty.

To build an atmosphere of safety and bring down the walls of distrust, focus on understanding, value and respect. To get this right, the respect has to start at the top.

Model the behaviors and the atmosphere that you expect from your staff. Respect their opinion, whether you agree or not. If you set the tone, your team should follow your lead.

Your company should have a list of values that dictates how you treat each other and your customers. They should be available for all to see. If needed, post them. Then, put them into practice.